KIND INTERVENTION
If you are no longer willing to participate in the drama that accompanies your loved one's addiction, then you are ready to do a Kind Intervention.
YOUR HEART AND SOUL
You have spent tireless years raising your children with all your heart and soul. Then, something went wrong. Something you thought only happened to others became your reality. Alcohol, drugs, and other self-destructive behaviors entered your loved one’s life. Are you a hostage in your own home or are you tired of the drama or of walking on eggshells for fear of starting another argument as your loved one’s behaviors become more unstable?
It does not need to be this way. The picture on the left is me. Married, 36 years with 4 children. I am qualified to help you, having lived it myself. My / our guidance is not just theoretical. My colleagues and I will guide you and give you the information necessary to empower you to reclaim your life. Our solutions have helped hundreds of families in the last 15 years.
OUR FACILITATORS
DAVID KAUFMAN
David Kaufman is a warm and outgoing Narrative and Solution Focused Therapist and Canadian Certified Addictions Counselor and Nationally Certified Interventionist Professional.
Today David is the Director of Group Counselling at JACS. He also facilitates three weekly support groups, lectures and counsels individuals and families.
As a counsellor, he is known for his light-hearted, empathetic and systematic practical approach.
CORI GOULD
“Addressing parent concerns in an action-oriented manner is important. Through education, skills development and action plans we can help parents better deal and cope with the many challenges they may be facing today.”
As a certified Intervention professional and a certified teacher with Specialist qualifications in Special Education, Cori brings 30 years of experience working with and teaching adolescents and twenty years of experience facilitating parenting groups. Through her experience as a teacher and administrator, she has developed her skills including conflict resolution and relationship building skills, as well a strong ability to conduct and manage groups dynamics. Cori utilizes practical skills, guidance, emotional support and strategic counselling to help those struggling with today’s family dynamics.
WHAT IS A KIND INTERVENTION?
Many people mistakenly believe and hope against experience that love will heal all. You believe, if you love your struggling addict enough, they will change.
Our job as parents is to be teachers. When we let our loved one’s continually treat themselves and us poorly, we are not teaching them the very life skills they need to live a happy and meaningful life.
You may feel that your actions or words are a demonstration of your love and therefore will help in your loved one’s healing and maturity. This is not true. Love needs boundaries.
For Example: Your loved one received a DUI. Your initial response may be to lessen the consequences of their actions by making sure their driver's licenses is not suspended. You hire a knowledgeable lawyer who specializes in avoiding legal charges or serious consequences. This is not love because by doing this you have prevented them from experiencing the consequences of their bad choices and from being a responsible and thoughtful person. Your love is supposed to help them be their best self. Sometimes the most loving thing a person can do is have firm boundaries.
A kind intervention is an action plan. We will help you create and implement the appropriate boundaries that you and your loved one need to establish a purposeful and happy life.
PART THREE
Post intervention
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What to expect
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Self-care
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Communication
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Maintaining boundaries
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Facing your fears
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“The other kids and family”
PART TWO
The Letter
If we metaphorically call the section on what is love and how not to enable as being the heart of a Kind Intervention, The Letter is the muscle that puts those ideas into a plan of action. We refer to The Letter as a declaration of independence for those who are dealing with someone struggling with an addiction. The letter gives one a moment to state his/her feelings and the boundaries that any meaningful relationship must include.
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Writing the letter
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Editing the letter
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Presenting the letter
PART ONE
Pre-Intervention
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Overcoming Denial and breaking the silence.
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Family Dynamics
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Addicts are master manipulators
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The 5 C's: Dealing with shame and guilt
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You don’t have to be a hostage in your own home
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Learn how to say “NO”
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Boundaries: The gift of consequences
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Options/ treatment
THE FOUR PART ACTION PLAN
CODEPENDANCY
Codependency refers to a pattern of behaviours and thoughts in which a person develops an unhealthy connection, often to the point of neglecting their own needs and well-being. This behaviour is often seen in relationships where one person has addictive problems and the other person takes on the role of fixer, caretaker or enabler.
Codependent individuals may have difficulty setting boundaries, saying no, and asserting or even knowing what are their own needs and desires. Codependents are often manipulated into doing things against everyone’s best interest. They may also experience feelings of confusion, guilt, shame, and anxiety when attempting to prioritize their own well-being. In extreme cases, codependency can lead to physical, emotional, and financial abuse.
A kind intervention is not for everyone. Mental health issues such as bipolar disorder, OCD severe anxiety, clinical depression, and other mood disorders require additional support.
IS A KIND INTERVENTION APPROPRIATE FOR US?
Click HERE to Schedule a free assessment interview
PART 4 - AFTER CARE
Group Support
A Support Group can be defined as a gathering of people with common experiences and concerns who meet together to provide emotional and moral support for one another. The members of a support group often have similar feelings, worries, everyday problems, and/or decisions to make.
Our support groups offer a safe place where you can get information that’s practical, constructive, and helpful. You’ll have the benefit of encouragement, and you’ll learn more about coping with the problems you face through shared experiences. Hearing from others facing similar challenges can also make you feel less alone in your troubles.
As well our support groups encourage a sense of community, a source of empathetic understanding and provide an avenue for establishing social networks. Our meetings take place online. Some groups are ongoing, while others have a predetermined start and end or total number of sessions for the group.
“We are deeply indebted for the profound wisdom, non-judgmental support, and sense of community facilitated through the brilliance of David Kaufman. During the course of the evening, he weaves the experiences of recovered and recovering addicts and their families who share personal stories giving tools to cope with the many stages of the journey of addiction. It is raw and honest, heart-wrenching and heartwarming."
Toronto
“We live in a world of challenges and many are beset with formidable life issues. What a relief to have such a positive and goal oriented therapist in our midst. David Kaufman is a highly reliable and successful therapist. I have referred patients to Mr. Kaufman for years. He is at once empathic, firm and able to create a secure environment for his clients. My patients have benefited tremendously from his brief therapy approaches. I fully endorse Mr. Kaufman as a top rate therapist.”
Dr. Michael Kirzner, M.D., CCFP, ISAM, CSAM,
Family and Addiction Medicine
"We leave each session with new insight that we can apply immediately into our lives with new strategies, empathy, and hope for ourselves and our addicted loved ones. There is no reason to walk this path alone. We urge anyone dealing with addiction in their family to reach out. “
Miami
“Thank you so much for sharing “The Letter,” with me. I read it over a couple of times yesterday and it is quite powerful. I can see how working towards clear, stronger boundaries is one of the major keys to change. “
L.A.
"David Kaufman has been instrumental in supporting my partner, helping us navigate challenging times with his honest, sensitive guidance and education. David has become a mentor to us and we owe our success in large part to his patience and commitment to our journey. "
Toronto
"David is truly gifted in his ‘what you need to hear’ communication skills. He calls it as it is and doesn’t allow for ‘excuses’ or ‘blame’...just ‘results’. The ‘group meetings’ on Thursday evening facilitated by both David and Cori have been so valuable as a parent of an ‘addict’..."
Toronto
"There are very few people with the emotional depth and psychological insight as David. His ability to tap into the human psyche and provide people with the tools they need to have a better understanding of life and themselves. He offers a priceless gift for any growth-minded person."
Mark Halpern, CFP, TEP
CEO WEALTHinsurance.com Inc.
“I have personally referred numerous couples and individuals with difficult issues to David Kaufman… I greatly recommend him as someone to turn to for counseling… his clients achieve their goals and reach emotionally fulfilling, practical and satisfying solutions to their problems.”
Rabbi Yaakov Felder,
KShomrai Shabbos Chevrah Mishnayoth